11:12 am darkphallii
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/9671526/1730402) [Link] | i found out peo died just after my grandpas funeral
fun night
i love you dude. rip.
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03:55 am hundley
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/776172/274508) [Link] |
too much sanity leads to insanity everything and nothing
reply hazy, concentrate and ask again
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02:32 pm hundley
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/776172/274508) [Link] | david lynch is probably right. i think i need to start getting more into non-religious meditation. i've actually been meditating for years every time i do dxm and it's been a source of great insight for me. i'm not sure if it's even technically meditation, or if it's the sort of thing that REAL meditators would spit on, but it has always served that purpose for me even if it is not derived from any sort of conventional meditation practice(as far as i know).
i don't know if i really want to go any sort of traditional meditation route or if i want to just continue doing it completely on my own. probably just continue what i'm doing. i like it and it works, and there is a satisfaction i get from it being something that i taught myself how to do without it ever really being a deliberate attempt at meditation.
i've recently started doing this WITHOUT the aid of drugs and today kinda had my first BREAKTHROUGH where i was able to get where i wanted to be without drinking a bottle of cough medicine. i've always found it unusually effective for creative brainstorming, and to an extent tidying up my mind and strengthening my spirits, but there was always this subtle hint of delirium from the chemicals in the cough medicine. sometimes that's useful, as it lets you go a little bit further, but you can sometimes inhibit your sensibility that way. i'll eventually build up a tolerance to dxm, so i should probably work on getting their on my own without any sort of chemical assistance.
this is a rather shitty entry, depending on the way you look at it, but methods of introspection have always been really important to me. i'll need to keep grinding at these methods if i wish to keep developing as a person.
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12:15 am jamicus
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91333808/3538313) [Link] | a solar eclipse is something we can all understand
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12:47 pm ohnoispillsoup
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/19439258/4383405) [Link] | Don't know what to say.
I don't even feel sad. Just crazy and disconnected from everything.
Zantac 75.
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06:57 pm jamicus
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91333808/3538313) [Link] | i know he didn't need it from me, but i wish i had said more while i could. i'm not falling to bits; we were never so close. but this makes me very sad because like us all i expected him to pull through and with the way he talked sometimes it was like this was just an episode, something to learn and move on from. it's not quite like losing a close friend - i knew him, for the most part, passively - but i am sure if i was lucky enough to live alongside a guy like that, i would be inconsolable and furious at any attempt to try.
his high school yearbook photo.
it is obscene he isn't here.
i am trying to learn something from this.
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10:37 am hundley
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/57474115/274508) [Link] | goodbye, my friend
thanks for touching my life
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09:40 am crispus_attucks
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/61526811/12894884) [Link] | oh what am i thinking???
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10:41 am hundley
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/776172/274508) [Link] | drank a bottle of cough medicine and when i sobered up i was a dutch blogger
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02:42 am hundley
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/776172/274508) [Link] | cANT SLEEP
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01:28 pm jamicus
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91333808/3538313) [Link] | i really do just want to rewind about two years and do everything I have done over again. some things i would do the same, but i have made so many mistakes and wasted so much. i would be able to move on from that and not dwell if it felt like i was able to stop making these same mistakes but
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01:27 pm jamicus
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91333808/3538313) [Link] | i seem to be doing this degree again for the moment. also i accepted a semester abroad at UTS which I would be happy about except they have aren't letting me take a single film elective even though i have free choice for that module what is up with that?
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01:25 pm jamicus
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91333808/3538313) [Link] | I have made so many snap decisions the past couple of weeks it is obscene and not a one of them am I happy with I am in all this fucking debt for no reason and yeah who cares I don't need to pay it off so quick but this is all just a hassle and I want nothing to do with any of it but at the same time can't really give it all up either plus I think I am still way to susceptible to other people's opinion of the choices I make so
I am frantic, tired, and I want to hurry up and stop.
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07:03 pm ohnoispillsoup
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/19439258/4383405) [Link] | I fucking hate Halloween. I forget this every year, and get really excited about it. And it's always hell, no matter what I'm doing. Like vodka. After you stop getting candy, it's all about disappointment. Like Valentine's Day, for some people. Thanksgiving and Christmas are never like that. They're always good, and my family always cooks for me. They cook for me in extremes. Goddamn, I guess I'll go try to buy some bread. I think there's peanut butter in the fridge. Hope the corner store is open on All Saints Day. Fucking hell if it isn't. How you guy's all doing?
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